The Value of Assertiveness

If there is a value that needs to be drummed into decent people, it is assertiveness.  In my experience, entitled people, selfish people, domineering people - the worst kind of people: they are the assertive ones.  Others are trampled and guilted into subservience.

What we tell decent people is that they should have forbearance, patience, perseverance.  These are wonderful qualities.  But by themselves, without the courage to stand for principles, without the confidence to take a stand, people get bullied into silence.  This affects their mental health, their physical health, their social mobility.  This impacts career projection, earning ability, and even trap them in toxic relationships.

One of the things I learned, early in my life, is that when we give the wrong people leeway, they break the door, stomp into your personal space, and rearrange the furniture.  They will guilt you into helping them violate the sanctity of your self-worth.  These people must be put in their place early.  It will make you enemies, it will burn bridges, and it will give you a reputation of arrogance or whatever.  The trade off is that it cleans up your social circle.

I never allow anyone to be rude to me, and get away with it.  I have no tolerance for nonsense.  I do not believe that anybody is superior to me in any way.  I am not impressed by social status, wealth, position, or accolades.  When someone oversteps the boundaries, I will be firm.  This notion that we should be nice regardless is an artificial construct to maintain a societal hierarchy that does not benefit anyone but the most predatory.  We should have principles, and these principles should be transparent.  They are not meant to be bent for anybody.