Everybody has an Ego

Everybody has an ego.  People love to hear their name and their title, situation depending.  Dale Carnegie is the author of “How to Win Friends & Influence People.”  He strongly believed that using someone’s name is incredibly important.  He said that a person’s name is the sweetest sound in any language for that person.  Our name is the core of our identity, so hearing it validates our existence.  This validation which makes us much more inclined to feel positively about the person who validated us.  This is why, in order to get a positive response, or at least a positive inclination from someone, it is extremely important to not just know their name, but it is of the utmost importance to get that name correct, whether in pronunciation or in spelling.

But using a title, or form of address can also have strong effects, according to this principle.  The idea is that if someone acts like a certain type of person, they will become that person; it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  This is incredibly useful.  To use this to influence others, we refer to them as what we want them to be, so they will start thinking of themselves in such a manner.  This also allows us to partially shape their opinions of us, and how they react to us.  This can be as simple as calling a mere acquaintance we want to be closer, “friend,” or “brother”, whenever we see them.  Done properly, and with perceived sincerity, it creates positive enforcement.  Another way would be referring to someone as “boss.”  With service staff, it tends to elicit better service.  The trick in doing this is sincerity or perceived sincerity.  Just as we attempt to shape their response, we also shape how we behave with others by alluding closeness, and creating intimacy.  It works well in sales, and it works in personal relationships.