Eulogy for Arlene Roseana Hendricks, 06th May 2018

The following speech was said at my mother’s funeral.  She passed away on the 30^th April 2018, one day before her 40^th wedding anniversary.

A very good afternoon to all, ladies, gentlemen, family and friends.  It is with distinct sadness, gratification and gratitude, that we are here to celebrate the life of Arlene Roseana Hendricks, who has been called Home to the Lord.

I would never call myself a good son.  I disagreed with my parents on many issues.  One of the things I never understood was their Catholic need to forgive their enemies and pray for them.  I was never big on forgiveness.  That was unfathomably illogical to me.  My mother had trials, and loss, and disappointments in her life, like any person.  But she chose to soldier on, to believe in the goodness of others, to forgive, and forgive, and forgive.  She chose to follow the example of Christ, and be kind.  In the words of Oscar Wilde, she believed that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

My mother shunned spectacle; she quietly did her duty.  She took care of her elders, she did her best to provide for her children, and she was always the faithful wife.  And this is how we should remember her: someone who did her best in her own way, touching the lives of those around, and believing in the better side of everyone.

Arlene was diagnosed with stage 4 small cell lung cancer.  My mother’s cancer has spread to the extent that her organs were slowly failing.  Her lungs filled up with fluid, and we were past the stage where we could drain it adequately.  Every breath was laboured and painful.  Four years ago, the doctor gave her two weeks.  Last week, the doctor said she might not make the night.  She fought, and she struggled on.

Whatever our differences, no one can ever say my mother was a coward.  What we, her children, have in us that is unyielding, and fierce, it is from her.  She specifically asked that I be there, and I was - the eldest son, who was ashamed of his parents’ “faults” for almost 30 years.  I understand now, that my mother had no fault.  She simply chose to be kinder, gentler, better.

We will miss her.  We will mourn her.  But most of all, we will celebrate her life and the lessons she taught us by example and action.  She will always be a part of us, her seven children, her loving spouse, Adrian, and her six grandchildren.  She lived in Christ, and she passed on in Christ, and she will live again in Christ.  And in every goodness, she lives on in us.  Amen.