Imagined Then

This poem was originally written in 1997.  That was a challenging time, when I was younger, less certain, foolishly naive.  And then we live, we get stronger, harder, certain.

Have you ever imagined then?

Have you ever thought perhaps?

The world is just a lie upon

Which hopes wither away mayhaps;

Though given life, false life;

We only want to sleep forever.

Because it cuts deeper than a knife;

The pain of knowing never.

Though I breathe in the present;

I live only in the past.

Though I speak of the absent;

I am absent here alas.

If I could only sleep forever,

I seek this pain would be gone.

Perhaps the words seem so clever.

But the heart behind it is long gone.

And I would dream my lonely dream.

And say my impossible prayer.

And call forlornly though it seems

I forgot to cry so long, not a tear.

And why would it matter to think

That there is a future to hope for.

When it will all be dust in a blink,

There is no heaven at my door.

Only lies and images and a mirage;

Of what was, and was supposed to be.

A flower of hope fallen to the barrage

Of cold certainty from a stormy sea;

Of bitter tears and broken hearts,

And shattered dreams and fallen stars;

Of dark despair so dark in parts.

That there will never be once more

Another flower of hope to bloom again.

Another heart to burn once more.

Another self for another pain.