Changes to AIA Shield Plans

Due to medical inflation, AIA Singapore will be revising the premiums and benefits for its Shield plan suite.

The Etiquette of Sexual Intercourse

The following is my humorous take on how to have sex, as extracted from various sources, including years of personal misadventure.  I would credit this, if I can find the original source for some of these points.  This is from a male perspective.  This is especially useful in an age where too many young men get their sex education from watching pornography. 

Not Kissing Her First

You should start by lightly kissing her.  On the lips.  Do not be one of those men who go straight to the fun zones, and slurp at it like a toothless cannibal.  You are not paying by the hour for a ride at the adult carnival.  You are trying to make her feel special.  A proper, passionate kiss, should be the start of great foreplay. 

Blowing Too Hard in Her Ear

Men who watch romantic comedies, or had talks with their female best friend, probably heard that some girls love it when you blow in her ear.  Not all women are the same.  Regardless, there is a difference between blowing lightly into her ear, and re-enacting the jet stream of a hawk dive-bombing a rabbit.  You do not want to be that guy who reminded her that Hurricane Katrina came in her ear, saliva and all. 

Unwrapping Her

She wants to feel sexy and wanted.  Get her out of those clothes like you are unwrapping an expensive present.  Do not leave her hanging with her head stuck in her top, while her hand is trapped in the sleeves, or something like that.  You are not tearing the wrapping of your food delivery. 

The Clothes Trap

For many men, items of women’s clothing can be tricky.  They may be difficult to remove while engaging in foreplay.  There are clasps, ties, and zippers.  Instead of trying to manoeuvre that obstacle course, ask her to help you take it off.  She will not be happy if you tear it, and it turns out to be expensive. 

Do Not Undress Prematurely

This is not a race.  Let her make the first move, undo a few buttons, or move for the zipper before helping her with your clothes.  It looks awkward when you are in your birthday suit, and she is still all dressed up, especially on the first date.  It is a turn-off when you have shared a kiss or two, and you whip out your baton, or worse still, throw everything off. 

Undressing in the Right Order

Get your clothes off from the top first.  It looks sexy.  A man with short and socks, with nothing in between, hardly looks appealing. 

Squeezing Her Breast

It is fine to squeeze her breast.  It is not okay to role-play a housewife testing melons at the supermarket.  Stroke them, caress them, perhaps fondle them.  Do not massage them like a demented baker playing with dough. 

Biting He Nipples

Flick your tongue across her nipples.  Gently suck on them.  Some girls may like it when you bite them.  Most of them do not.  Nipples are very, very sensitive.  They are not chew toys.  They are not balloons you deflate by biting the nipples. 

Twisting Her Nipples

By all means, play with the nipples.  Do not fiddle with them like you are trying to find reception on your radio from the fallout shelter, looking for other survivors.  Focus on the whole breast, not just the nipples. 

Giving Her Love Bites

Exerting gentle suction on the face is erotic.  Trying to suck her blood through the skin like a demented leech is not.  She does not want to look like she has major allergies and ticks. 

Not Shaving

Either have proper facial hair, or be clean-shaven.  A stubble is the worst thing for a woman.  At some stage, it is like having a toilet brush strapped to your chin.  When you go down on you, she is not moving her head side to side out of ecstasy.  She is in pain, and you are exfoliating her clitoris and labia. 

Ignoring the Rest of the Body

A woman’s body is not just a playground with fours rides: the breast, the ass, and the tunnel down under.  Before you go bombing down Vaginaville, spend time discovering her other erogenous zones, such as the neck, the back of the knee, the inner thighs, and the small of the back. 

The Sensual Massage

You need to caress her body in a sensual, relaxing manner.  You want her in the mood.  That means light tickles with your fingers and your lips, not elbow strikes and kneeing her in the groin.  You are not kneading dough, or tenderising your lamb shank. 

Foreplay Wedgie

Stroke her sensuously through her panties.  That is sexy.  Sawing her between the thighs with her own panties is not.  It is painful. 

Attacking the Clitoris

The clitoris is not an “on” button for a living sex doll.  It is a very sensitive part of the woman’s anatomy.  No direct pressure, and no flicking it.  Gently rotate your fingers alongside it.

Fixating on the Vagina

Most men can find the clitoris without a map, but the vagina is not the boundary of foreplay.  Sliding your fingers into the vagina is not the same as stuffing a turkey for Thanksgiving.  Massage and play with the clitoris and labia, and then move in.  Sometimes, it takes time to lubricate enough for you to slide anything in. 

Performing Oral Sex Too Gently

When you start, it is better to be gentle.  It is seductive and sensual.  But you are not trying to fix a broken watch with your tongue.  You keep that up, and she feels nothing.  Get down there, and put in a shift.  Flick your tongue across the clitoris, push it in, and lick like your sex life depends on it – it does. 

Pushing Her Head to Your Crotch

When she has not made the move, pushing her eyeball to penis will not automatically result in mouth to penis action.  You are not getting that blowjob.  Sex is reciprocation.  You need to go down on her before she does, unless you are a couple engaged in regular sex.  Sex is not you dragging her by her hair to your cave. 

Thrusting During a Blowjob

Never, ever thrust.   Never grab her hair, and try and move her head around, while thrusting.  Getting a penis into the mouth is hard work for her. 

Playing with Her Anus

Men can be easily anally stimulated because they have a prostate gland.  Women do not have one. 

Giving Instructions

This is not the Olympics, and sex is not a contact sport.  You are not a coach barking instructions through a megaphone, or a judge criticising her on form. 

Going Too Hard

Do not wantonly bash your hipbones against her thighs.  It is painful.  You want her to climax, not rupture a cervix.  Sex should be enjoyable.  It should not feel like riding a plank edgewise on a rollercoaster. 

Going Too Fast

When thrusting, there should be a certain rhythm.  You are not digging a new tunnel through the mountains with an industrial tool.  You are not a machine on an assembly line screwing in bolts on a car chassis.  Start slowly, with clean straight movements, and then build it up to a regular rhythm.  The worst thing that can happen is that you might fracture your penis. 

Taking a Break

When it comes to orgasms, women are different from men.  Whether it is intercourse itself, or cunnilingus, the moment you stop or slow down, they go right back to zero, and you have to start all over again.  If she is not there, or if you are not sure, keep at it, numb jaw, muscle cramps and all. 

Making Her Ride Too Long

Having her on top is fine.  Some women even prefer it.  Do not just lie there, grunting a death metal song, while she is playing rodeo.  Move your hands, caress her sides, play with her breasts, look at her.  She wants to feel loved, not feel like the boatswain on a row boat caught in a squall.  Remember to change positions, and let her rest. 

Squashing Her

Men are often bigger and weight more than women.  If you lie on her heavily, she will have problems breathing.  That tends to be a turn-off. 

Attempting to Enter Her Anus & Pretending You Made a Mistake

If you want to go there, ask permission.  If you have permission, test it with a finger first.  You do not attempt to slide a penis in there, and think she will believe you took a wrong turn at the perineum junction.  No woman is stupid enough.  If she is drunk enough, the pain will make her sober. 

Talking Dirty

Some women like it, and some do not.  Not a lot of women want to listen to phone sex line while getting on with it.  Sometimes, even if they may like it, they may not like it when it comes from you.  Practice your bed talk. 

Slapping Stomachs Together

This is about as sexy as a burping contest.  Do not do it. 

Behaving Like You were in a Pornographic Movie

Women do not love it when you take it out, and then ejaculate all over her.  It is messy, and many women think it is disgusting. 

Arranging Her in Stupid Poses

Women are not interested in trying out every single pose in the Kama Sutra.  They are not doing advanced bed yoga.  You cannot have sex if she snapped a hamstring, or twisted a knee. 

Coming Too Soon

Unless you see her eyes roll back like she is possessed, and she is grinding her teeth, and breathing like a rabid wolf on a hunt, hold it back as long as possible.  If you do come early, you better have a backup plan to get in there, and plug at it until she orgasms. 

Taking Too Long to Climax

If you can keep humping her for hours, that is not the sign of a sex god.  There is probably a numb vagina beneath it all.  There are no prices for keeping at it too long, and no world record worth keeping.  If you are going to play marathon man, have nice patterns on your ceiling to entertain her.  The moment she climaxes enough, you let go, and move on to pillow talk, or snoring away. 

Asking if She Came

Never, ever, ever do that.  It destroys the mood, and you probably have to start all over again.  Women change when they are about to come.  They make noises, they breathe raggedly, they start grabbing things.  You will know. 

Climaxing into Her Mouth without Warning

Sperm does not have a nice taste.  That taste varies according to our diet, but it is generally like seawater mixed with stale yoghurt and egg white.  Warm her before you ejaculate, and let her make the choice. 

Make Sure She Climaxes

You have one job – make sure she climaxes.  Get this right, and you will be repaid in turn.  Mess this up, and there is not only not going to be a next time, but all her friends might know. 

Thanking Her

No woman wants to be thanked for sex.  It makes her feel cheap.  She is not doing charity, she is not running the Salvation Army for the horny.

Quora Answer: What Personal Story Can We Share for a Humorous Toastmasters Ice Breaker Speech?

The following is my answer to a Quora question: “What is the best thing in one’s life one can talk about for a Toastmasters ice breaker speech? I want it to be humorous.” 

This is difficult to answer since we are all different.  You have had an entire life, your hero’s journey.  As such, pick an event, something that you feel is significant, and resonates with an audience.  It has to be a story of failure and triumph, or a journey of discovery, or even a poignant moment in your life.  When you examine your life, and consider it with an artistic license, there are thousands of stories you can tell.  However, there are some conventions you should adhere to. 

Firstly, begin with an opening statement.  People need to know where to begin.  You then craft that story with this opening statement as an anchor.  In the course of your story, stick to one event.  Focus on depth, as opposed to breadth.  When you are done with that, circle back to that opening statement, and make it inclusive.  That statement has now become a call to action.  That is the intent of the speech. 

Humour is a challenging aspect of speech, if you are not, naturally, a funny person.  You need to practice telling jokes, and making witty remarks.  That is a skill acquired over time.  In the mean time, you can “borrow” humour by building your story around a humorous quote.  Humour is found in the delivery.  That means slowing own your speech, and varying your pitch.  You also need to embrace the uncomfortable pause at the end of the joke to give the audience time to laugh.  For newer speakers, that takes courage.  You can consider situational humour, in which case, your powers of description must be honed.  Alternatively, play with words and engage in misdirection as a form of humour.  This requires mastery of timing coupled with deadpan delivery.  The only way to be good, is to start.

Quora Answer: Will the UK Forward Deploy a Royal Navy Frigate to Singapore in the Next Few Years?

The following is my answer to a Quora question: “Will the UK forward deploy a Royal Navy frigate to Singapore in the next few years?” 

No, that is not the conversation.  This was based on an informal proposal originally floated that the 2016 Shangri-La Dialogue, by Sir Michael Cathel Fallon, who was Secretary of State for Defence at that time.  The actual suggestions was to send a UK carrier strike group to Asia on its inaugural deployment.  This was part of their global re-posturing effort.  The UK public had just voted for Brexit, China was being more belligerent in the South China Sea and projecting force in the East Pacific, and the UK and US were secretly in the process of forming the AUKUS trilateral security arrangement with Australia. 

As of last year, the Queen Elizabeth aircraft carrier and escort ships have completed a tour of the region.  It had a complement of US Marine F-35B squadron onboard.  This was a significant show of power.  In that time, the carrier group took part is several manoeuvres and exercises with regional navies, including the Indian Navy.  As of this time, there is still a stated intent to deploy Littoral Response Group (LRG) late in 2023.  This LRG is likely to be focused on the Indian Ocean, with a refit and refueling in Sembawang Naval Base, Singapore and the UK Joint Logistics Support Base (UKJLSB) within the al-Duqm Port & Drydock of Duqm, Oman. 

As per the terms of AUKUS, it is also possible that Australian will offer basing access to facilitate regular deployments of UK nuclear attack submarines, at HMAS Stirling, Western Australia.  This is more relevant to reinstating Royal Navy submarine presence in the eastern Indian Ocean.  As of now, there are no plans for there to be a permanent base anywhere in the Indian or Pacific Ocean, let alone Singapore.  Furthermore, it is unlikely Singapore would offer that to the UK, and risk being seen as part of the American camp against China.  Singapore wants to maintain the appearance of neutrality. 

At the moment, there are two patrol vessels in the area.  They are not much for force projection, but are there more to demonstrate presence.  It is more than likely that the Royal Navy facility in Sembawang Naval Base, Singapore, will serve as the primary logistics hub.  The UK will eventually upgrade the patrol vessels to Type-31 frigates.  However, this does not constitute an actual forward deployment to Singapore.

Quora Answer: What is the Clear Difference between Tautology & Pleonasm?

The following is my answer to a Quora question: “What is the clear difference between tautology and pleonasm?” 

In rhetoric, a tautology is a statement that repeats an idea, in words or phrases.  The word was coined in Greek from ταὐτός, “the same” and λόγος, “word”, and transmitted through 3^rd Century Latin tautologia and French tautologie.  It first entered in English in the 16^th century.  The use of the term, “logical tautology” was introduced into English by Ludwig Josef Johann Wittgenstein, the Austrian-British philosopher, in 1919. 

There is a difference between what we consider a literary tautology and a logical one.  A literary tautology is not inherently true, while a logical tautology always.  For example, if we say, “That person is either a man or a woman”, that is true. 

Examples of a literary tautology include this this quote from William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”: “To be or not to be, that is the question.”  This is among the most famous examples. 

Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven” has this: 

“But the fact is I was napping,

And so gently you came rapping,

And so faintly you came tapping,

Tapping at my chamber door.” 

Another example is George Bernard Shaw’s “Pygmalion”, where he wrote, “I’m willing to tell you.  I’m wanting to tell you.  I’m waiting to tell you.”  Here, it is in the form of an alliterative triad. 

On the other hand, pleonasm, is redundancy in linguistic expression.  The word itself is from Ancient Greek πλεονασμός, pleonasmós, derived from πλέον, pleon, “to be in excess”.  This makes is a form of tautology in rhetoric.  The repetition may be an emphasis, a redundancy of language, or an established convention that crept into the language. 

An example of pleonic emphasis would be William Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar”: “This was the most unkindest cut of all.”  Here, the emphasis is the nature of the cut, that not only was it fatal in the sense of mortality, but fatal to the relationship, the betrayal of someone Gaius Julius Caesar considered the closest to him. 

And then we have John Milton’s “Paradise Lost”: 

“From that day mortal, and this happie state

Shalt loose, expell’d from hence into a world

Of woe and sorrow.” 

In terms of redundancy of language, we have phrases such as “difficult dilemma”, “direct confrontation”, and “end result”. 

There are terms that seem redundant, but are not for legal or academic reasons.  Examples include terms such as “added bonus”, where the implication is that this bonus is in addition to other benefits already given, or “free gift” where the implication is that there are no terms and conditions attached.  They have become established conventions in language.

Quora Answer: What is the Best Way to Convince Someone of Your Point of View in Political Discussions?

The following is my answer to a Quora question: “What is the best way to convince someone of your point of view, particularly in political discussions?” 

There is no best way to convince anyone of anything in any discussion.  There are methods that may work, depending on the circumstances, the person involved, and the issue itself.  And there are positions that are so fundamental to the sense of self that the person will not budge from that position.  That being said, there are a few techniques that may be applied, often used in negotiations, to gain a favourable response.  There is no value in applying them in any casual discussion.  This is used to extract formal concessions and agreements. 

In any discussion, where there is a need to persuade the other party that we share common ground, the first hurdle is to move them psychologically from their side of the table to ours.  This is subtle, and constant work.  The first is to find common ground.  We find this by the use of allusions to find points of agreement in popular culture, music, hobbies.  This inclines the other side towards us.  Another method is to get the other side to do a small favour, such as paying for the coffee, lighting a cigarette or even borrowing coins for the vending machine.  When an opponent does you a small favour, it creates a cognitive, and they convince themselves that they are actually inclined towards you.  All this is before the discussion. 

In the course of the actual discussion, the most common rhetorical trap is to repeat and reframe.  We repeat their contention, and then reframe it slightly when you do so, such that it seems their position is closer to ours than we realise.  If the negotiation team is experienced, this is not easily done.  That is why we play the long game, and fill the agenda with softballs they can easily give in, or we can easily agree to.  When their attention span is diminished due to tiredness, then we start to do this, insisting on going over the clauses over and over again, feigning lack of understanding, and then reframing it. 

Finally, the point of any discussion, this negotiation, is to get something from the other side.  An experienced team will be quite aware of how this is done, and they will be playing the same game.  People do not like to be told what to believe; they need to be convinced this is their idea.  They can be moved emotionally through inclination or disinclination.  It is a lot of work to get people to like us, especially when they have nothing in common with us.  It is a lot easier to work with it when they fear us, or even hate us.  Emotional people are not logical people, and are the easiest to manipulate.  This is done by a bait and switch.  We give them a position, and let them work towards it by seeming intransigent and unyielding.  Finally, we agree to it for a “small concession”, which is what we originally wanted. 

I am not in the business of getting people to agree with me.  In am in the business of winning.  Discussions for the sake of getting an agreement on matters of opinions are about the ego.  There is no gain in feeding our own egos.  Any discussions is to extract something that advances our own agenda.

Quora Answer: What is a Rhetorical Function?

The following is my answer to a Quora question: “What is a rhetorical function?” 

A rhetorical function is a process of creating a cogent, coherent argument in academic writing, or for public speaking.  The rhetorical function of the act, the person, or the object refers to the point it makes in reference to the intended argument.  The rhetorical function is part of a wider rhetorical strategy tailored to the intended audience, for a specific intent, in order to maximise the call to action. 

An example of rhetorical function is the choice of words to describe someone, with consideration of its positive or negative connotations to elicit a feeling or opinion from the audience.  For example, you could describe a man as looking sinister, or you could say he looked dark, and the context of choice of further words would shape the audience reaction to him. 

Another example of rhetorical function is the use of the alliterative triad to subtly emphasise a position by reiterating it in subsequent sentences and clauses.  It draws attention to the point, and paints a wider, expansive picture to set the stage for a grand call to action.

Quora Answer: What is a Non Sequitur Argument?

The following is my answer to a Quora question: “What is a non sequitur argument?” 

“Non sequitur”, from the Latin “it does not follow”, is a logical fallacy.  Aristotle wrote a treatise on deductive reasoning, Ἀναλυτικὰ Πρότερα, translated into Latin as Analytica Priora.  In English, we know this work as “Prior Analytics”.  In it, he covered several types of logical fallacies, including the non sequitur argument. 

For example, if a dog is an animal, therefore, all dogs are animals.  If all dogs are animals, therefore, all animals are dogs.  This type of non sequitur is known as affirming the consequent.  Even were the premise and the conclusion to hold true, the consequence is not predicated on the premise.  It would be a coincidence. 

Taking this further, another example of a non sequitur argument would be the claim that since dogs are animals, and cats are animals, therefore cats are dogs.  Here, the conclusion is still independent of the premise. 

Another example of a non sequitur argument would be the opposite, denying the antecedent.  For example, cats are animals.  Dogs are also animals.  Cats are not dogs.  Dogs are not cats.  Therefore, neither are animals.  We could use an example where the conclusion may be true, but the premise would still be false.  For example, I am Singaporean.  I am Eurasian.  If I am not Eurasian, I am not Singaporean.  It could be true, but the two points are unrelated. 

There are half a dozen or so different examples of non sequitur arguments.  In any formal contention, where the premise or the conclusion are unrelated, then the position arrived at, even if it were true, would only be true by coincidence, and not arrived at by logic.

Quora Answer: What is an Ad Hominem Attack?

The following is my answer to a Quora question: “What is an ad hominem attack?” 

“Ad hominem” is Latin, and literally means “to the person”.  It is a shortened form of “argumentum ad hominem”, “argument to the person”.  In rhetoric, it is an argument, where the speaker attacks the integrity, or a character attribute of the person, instead of the contentions of his argument for or against a position.  There are two kinds of argumentum ad hominem: fallacious and valid. 

A fallacy in rhetoric involving argumentum ad hominem is to directly attack the person to discredit his argument even though his character is not central to the contention he has raised.  This is often employed when there is no strong argument against his contention.  It is emotive, and not based on logic.  For example, someone states that climate change is happening, and cites scientific sources.  Instead of addressing those sources, the opposing speaker questions his ability to tell the truth. 

A valid argumentum ad hominem is to attack the credibility of the person when the credibility of his testimony is predicated on his character.  This is often used in court, to question the character of a witness, to establish or dismiss testimony.

Quora Answer: What do You Call a Person Who Studies & Masters Rhetoric?

The following is my answer to a Quora question: “What do you call a person who studies and masters rhetoric?” 

Rhetoric is the mastery of the art of putting forth a cogent, coherent argument, for or against a contention, with the intent of convincing or persuading someone or a group of people towards a specific position.  It includes the ability to engage in the ensuing dialogue to achieve that objection.  In English, the person who masters rhetoric is known as a rhetorician.  A rhetorician is known for his ability to speak eloquently.  However, the one who masters, and then teaches this art is actually called a rhetor, a term derived from Ancient Greece.

Quora Answer: What are the Differences & Similarities between Singaporean-Style & Chinese-Style Authoritarianism?

The following is my answer to a Quora question: “What is the differences and similarities between Singaporean style of authoritarian governance and Chinese style of authoritarian governance?” 

China is run by a one party system.  The Chinese Communist Party controls everything.  To succeed in such a system, it is necessary to be a member of the party.  The Chinese Communist Party began as a form of totalitarian state, which has evolved into some form of post-totalitarian oligarchy.  There are no elections in China, and political parties other than the Chinese Communist Party, are banned.  There is strict control over the press and forms of expression, including art, film, and social media.  The compact between the state and the people is that as long as the state delivers affluence, security and economic growth, the people leave the running of the state to the Party.  To some extent, that has worked, and China is an economic power. 

Singapore is a socialist democratic state.  There are elections, political parties are not banned, although political expression is heavily regulated to maintain harmony in a multi-ethnic, multi-religious society.  Singapore is far from a totalitarian state.  While the press is regulated, it is not censored.  This applies to other forms of free expression such as the arts.  Movies are largely censored for pornography and violence, as opposed to political content.  There is little oversight in social media unless posts and comments fall afoul of existing laws on libel, the maintenance of racial and religious harmony, or threaten the security of the state.  The system advantages the incumbent, but it does not stifle political discussion.