Some Psychological Tricks for Closing That Deal

The following are some methods to psychologically influence people to close that client.  People are eminently predictable, and they are open books.  This is especially so to anyone who is a sociopath, or a psychopath, and are not easily swayed by social norms.  We may be higher evolved, but we are still animals, and the social dynamic does not change.

Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy wrote, in his “War and Peace”  “In the best, the friendliest and simplest relations, flattery or praise is necessary, just as grease is necessary to keep wheels turning. ”

Flattery gets us places.  It builds up people, and creates an environment of support.  People who are praised perform better.  However, we must ensure that flattery is not seen as insincere, otherwise it backfires and destroys the credibility of whatever you say.  There has to be truth in it.  You do not praise a buffoon for his “scintillating knowledge”, or a philanderer for his “morality”.  Even a fool knows when praise is undeserved.

There is a science to this.  Dr. Edward Ellsworth Jones, in his “Ingratiation: A Social Psychological Analysis” called it “complimentary other-enhancement”, which he defined as the act of using compliments or flattery to improve the esteem of another individual.  Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” stated that we should be generous with our praise.  In all that time, psychologists have built up an impressive body of empirical evidence to prove that people respond better to those who praise them, but there are caveats to this.  Not all flattery is the same, and not all people respond in the same manner.  People who have high self-esteem, or those who have established their credibility in a certain area, and have competence in it, respond favourably to outright praise.  You are affirming what they already know.

But this does not work the same way with people who have a low self-esteem, or a doubt their ability in a certain area.  We cannot fundamentally alter the way people view themselves in a few words.  This will create resentment and will backfire.  Nobody wants to feel mocked.  As such, when you praise someone like this, temper it with some form of subtle criticism, or suggest ways they can “improve”.  Even a person genuinely good at signing, who doubts his ability, cannot be told he is a great singer.  He will doubt those words, no matter how sincere, and will treat you with suspicion, creating a barrier.  Instead, say, “That was very good.  And with more practice, I am sure you will get even better.”

The only time when effusive praise works for the person who has low self-esteem is when it is public, and from multiple others.  This overrides their cognitive balance embedded within themselves because many people cannot possibly be wrong.  Conversely, public humiliation can destroy a person of high self-esteem in the same way.

The second method is to be a social chameleon.  This is done by mirroring or mimicking their social conventions, their speech patterns and even their vocabulary.  This causes people to unconsciously see you as one of them.  You are immediately likeable because people find it difficult to hate themselves.  This means whatever you suggest to them is viewed as an internal decision within the group, and more likely to be taken up.

This has to be done subtly.  If you are caught being obvious, you are immediately viewed subconsciously as a threat, and your credibility with the group is destroyed.  But if you are successful, you have validated their worldview and enhanced their esteem.  The group will be nicer to you, and amendable to any offers.

In business, as in anything, timing is also important.  When people are tired, we tend to think they are much more difficult, or irascible.  But when people are tired physically, they are also tired mentally, and their guard is lowered.  This is an excellent opportunity to suggest something, or make a quick pitch.  It should not be more than a few sentences, preferably a few words.  It should require a dichotomous answer such as “Yes” or “No”.  The response you should expect would be, “I will think about it”, “I will get back to you”, or something similar.

The thing about people is that their brain tricks them into thinking they have made a commitment, and people generally keep their promises.  This does not work with people who have no credibility, or who are dishonest.  But then, you should not be doing business with such people.

This next method is a negotiating trick.  Telemarketers and roadshow marketing try to use it, but they tend to fail because they rush it.  It is getting people to agree to things they already believe it.  This lowers their guard, and they view you as an ally.  It works with perfect strangers as well.

People respond best when this is regarding things that elicit anger.

For example, you could say to a woman, “I think it is a disgrace that jail terms for rapists are not long enough.”  This may or may not be objectively true, but most women would agree because there is an emotive element here.  And then leave it at that.  You continue the conversation, and when you segue into selling her a padlock for her safety, she is likely to agree because the initial issue is still at the back of her mind.  She might not even need a padlock, but she will buy a “better” one from you.

Another way this is done is in business or political negotiations.  You open with a position that is in their interest to agree to, the offer they cannot refuse.  This might involve selling them something at below your cost price.  This changes the dynamic of the meeting and tricks the client psychologically into being more mendable to what you are really selling, at a price that benefits you.

The way this works is that the other side is convinced that they initiated the sale, and control the situation.  Sales are easier when the clients believe they made the call, and it was always their decision.

The next method is not correcting people.  Telling someone they are wrong, even when it is obvious, does not endear you to them.  The ego does not generally tolerate being diminished.  For people with low self-esteem, this is viewed as a personal attack.

If you need to correct someone, such as during a business negotiation, there are other, subtler ways, to accomplish this.  One of the most effective is called the Ransberger Pivot, named after Ray Ransberger and Marshall Fritz, from 1982.  The Ransberger Pivot is a debate technique where you find a commonality with the other side, and then turn that objection into an agreement with a watered-down version of your position.  You do this by listening to their position.  Get them to explain it in detail.  This is also useful in getting the other side to understand it may be incongruent or incoherent.  This also allows you to understand the underlying issue, and that is the real target.  You then build a bridge to that underlying issue by acknowledging its validity, and finding a common ground you can both agree upon.  You then subtly bring them to the issue you really want – to complete that sale.

The next method is paraphrasing.  You repeat what they have said in your own words, so that they know you understand what they are saying.  And as you paraphrase, subtly alter their objections into agreement.  This tricks them into psychologically believing that there is no objection, and they agree with you.

There is a secondary benefit to this.  When you paraphrase what the client says, it encourages them to open up and disclose more information that helps the sale.  This is how you get them to disclose their actual budget, because when people feel validated, it is a drug where they seek more validation and affirmation.  This lowers their guard, and they will give you more and more information.  This technique works in police interrogation as well.

With practise, these methods should help not only become an effective salesperson, but you are also perceived as charismatic and friendly.  Getting the approval of people is not that difficult.  Maintaining that approval, however, involves actually delivering on promises, not cheating anybody, and having values and integrity.